We all know that I definitely like to keep it real on this here blog.
You guys never have to worry about any smidgen of untruth from me or for me to not speak as I would if I saw you in the flesh.
Alas, I've decided to hop on the gravy train of 'more truth' and write a different type of post:
Afraid. Very Afraid.
Another blend, Lea over at Running for Dummies, has challenged us to write a blog post like non-other - For us to be honest and truthful to get things off of our chests - to be transparent with our readers on something we've not talked about. Ok, I can handle that!
My topic of choice is two-fold:
1) I know you're sick of hearing me talk about running
2) Running helps me to stay in control
Last year, when I started running again to train for the Gasparilla 15k, it was sort of a rebirth. I'd been a runner back in 2007 but felt uncomfortable. Years later, I'd finally reached a point where I was ready to get back into it and get back into it I did. Along the way, I've met the most awesome people who not only encourage me with my own goals but push me and support me all the way. With that being said, I started to notice myself talk about running. A lot. All of the time. It was stuck on my brain. I learned to curb what I posted online (to a point) and with the addition of my blog, I began to have another outlet to use where I could talk and talk about running and fitness without scrutiny.
Just as I gained tons of support and friendships, I felt like I lost many or that many relationships shifted. People say you learn who your real friends are at peak moments in your life and mine were during wedding planning...financial tough times...and also during half marathon training. I understand it, I do. Yet, it tends to bother me sometimes. Sometimes I want to be excited and talk about the great 12 miler I'd just hit for the first time and geek out over it, but knowing I'd be around others who could care less about miles and Garmins, I'd stay tight-lipped. I've seen a lot of friendships go to the wayside because we've just ended up at two different places in life, and I've learned to be okay with that. Sometimes I wish it didn't have to be that way. I hoped that I'd motivate others to do what they never thought imaginable, kind of how I felt about running, instead of it being a bother. Should we all have the same things in common to talk about? Should we open up our minds and our hearts to learn from others? Or should we just stay to what's comfortable and familiar to us?
Another reason why I even run in the first place is that it helps me to stay in control. Real-life peeps know me as the girl who likes to be in control - suffice it to say that I've been noted as "bossy" by family and friends who know me and have known me a long time. I like to have control. I've learned over time that it's rooted from not having a ton of control in my past, so now I sometimes feel that if I am in control then I can avoid negative outcomes or foresee things in a light that I can expect to see them in rather than be caught off guard. I am working on this... and running has helped me...
Running has turned into something that has not only helped my outward appearance and overall health, but it creates an opportunity for me to stay in control. I control when I wake up to run, I control my pace, I control how far I go... And then I race & get that sense of accomplishment that all of my hard work has earned me that shiny [probably cost $1 to make] medal that I cherish to much. It also gets out all of the ick. By ick I mean that negative energy you accumulate from work, life, stress....nothing takes care of that for me quite like a good run - or a kick butt WOD!
I'm working on it. I know that being a control freak isn't the best thing ever. Not only for others who get to take part in my company, but also for me. There's no need for me to organize my clothes according to color or to fold my workout undies a certain way. I shouldn't worry about the bed being made every day or that all of the icons on my phone are attended to. I am trying to take a page from my husband's book and be more spontaneous - hence our plethora of trips planned this year. Life's too short to be a robot, I know.
So, there you have it. My admissions, or at least some of them. I'm sure I have plenty more but feel this is a good start?
Have these sorts of things happened to you?
a spontaneity...yeah that part is not so much my thing and I've decided I'm ok with that. However I can roll with the flow when the unexpected happens.
ReplyDeleteFriends and running are an interesting thing. I don't think I lost any, but I did make new one's
Yea and life's evolved so much that the friends I have now are tenfold over before, but shifting sometimes feels so odd! Especially when I need to be more spontaneous! ;)
DeleteI have a hard time remembering sometimes that some people don't want to hear me talk about running, and yeah, it's definitely shifted friendships. Wedding planning and wedding season did it a little bit too. It surprised me who came all the way here to Tampa and then also who never made an effort to do anything really. You're right, it is during the high seasons in our life that we realize who our real friends are and who may not have been as good of a friend as we thought. That's well put. Thanks for sharing this Kat!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love being able to be in charge too, and I love running for that as well. That shirt that Dorothy makes "I run this body" is definitely absolutely true. No one else can do anything to stop us or push us forward when we make up our minds one way or another.
I'm so glad I'm not alone! It was a challenge to write this but I felt better afterwards for sure. Facts of life, are facts of life, but sometimes shifts can feel uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I'm the happiest ive ever been in my life though :)
DeleteI can relate to this so much. I find my circle of friends getting smaller since my interests have shifted. It's truly hard to find true "bffs" but the ones that do stay around shine brighter because of the lost ones.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this honesty post today.
Thanks Grace! Happy to see my honesty can be understood!
DeleteI know one place where you aren't a control freak. You don't like knowing about the course before a race. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHaha touché, but for MCM I wanna know abut dem hills ;)
DeleteKat, I *love* this post--honest and very real as always. :) I totally relate to making and losing friends due to changes in life--and fitness. A few of my friends in real life ask me how training is going--and my family members do too--but I usually keep my recap pretty general; I know they don't really care about my splits, cadences, and heart-rate changes. Even though I have their support, which is invaluable, I do wish I could geek out a bit more around them. That said, though, I absolutely love being a runnerd and trichat around like-minded people. :)
ReplyDeleteAw thanks Carrie :) I can't wait to have oodles of run swim and bike talk with ya...at the Chelsea pier of course ;)
DeleteI can't believe people have left your life because of your passion for running. But then again, I try not to chat too much about fitness because I do feel like some people actually don't like hearing about THAT. So many friends complain about their weight, their bodies, they want to be leaner - and I DEFINITELY don't preach about fitness. But when they see me going to and from the gym, it's like they don't even want to KNOW that I do that and that it's my passion, asides from my family. Strange to me.
ReplyDeleteEh, their loss right? I'm not going to talk about anything other thn stuff that drives life! ;)
DeleteHmmm...boy can I relate to the control freak part! It's hard to fight your own make up, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteLol, right!
DeleteI have to say, I LOVE this post. When I started running, I noticed a BIG shift in my "friends" and my social life. Now with 7 months into CrossFit, again I find that my friends and socail life are changing more again. I had a really hard time with it during the running phase, but this go around I refuse to let it bother me. I have found something I love and if they are true friends, they are super excited for me. Others...well so be it. Their friendship shaped a part of my life and I'm thankful for that, but if they can't take me doing something to better myself then the time may have come to split. Stay positive -- keep talking running - and totally geek out on the AWESOME runs and WODs. And I'm "bossy" too -- yes, it's hard to not be in control for me too -- working on that :)
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! ;)
DeleteFrom one control freak to another, let your freak flag fly. ;) BTW, every time I read "control" I said it like Janet Jackson. Lol! Keep on keepin on. I love hearing you talk about running so you can call me anytime to tell me about your awesome runs!
ReplyDeleteHaha I'm wearing my rhythm nation outfit...is that so wrong??
Deletethe funniest part about Beth's comment is that I heard the same "Janet Jackson" in my head! LOL
DeleteAwesome post girl! Thanks for sharing! I am a huge control freak too...it's bad but I'm working on it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mindy, looks like we're all uniting!
DeleteA friend of mine broke up with his live-in girlfriend because she couldn't handle his running. It got to be bigger than that - he wanted to focus on healthy living and she didn't. He was making new friends out of the house with a fitness focus, and she wanted him home on the couch. You certainly aren't the first and you won't be the last. It's OK for friendships to grow and ebb and change... without change there would be no butterflies, and you are finding new wings.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I love my life! I'm the happiest I've ever been and know that I should surround myself with support and not be shunned for awesomeness ;)
DeleteSince college I have seen many friendships come and go because we just get to different places, marriage, babies new jobs,new lifestyles. It was hard at first, but as I get older I realize that everyone comes into and goes out of our lives for a reason.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as I get older I realize there are certian people I want to be with and have really made a concous effort to disconnect myself from the negative people in life. Running has helped me do just that as well.
And yes, I will be the first to admit I am a total type A control freak too!
Great post!
Thanks Lisa! I've embraced the change and know that if I'm this happy with new found friends and those that have stuck by me, there's no point n looking back!
DeleteI feel ya so much on this one girlie!!! My exercise routines definitely help me to "excercise" control in my life. I'm a bit of a control freak too! Its something that I am working on also!!!! I def need to be more spontaneous! It makes me sad to hear the lack of support u have received from others though, and just know that if people aren't willing to respect what you love and what is important to you, you don't need that in your life! Love you and thanks for sharing!! Xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenna, love you too!!
DeleteWe've talked about this and I wholeheartedly have the same stance. I've had a lot of "friends" stop talking to me because I have found a true passion (running/fitness). And I have others that I've actually inspired to turn their complaints into goals and they've become better friends than they already were!
ReplyDeleteRunning started out as a challenge, but it has found it's roots far deeper in me and revealed more about myself than the original surface goal it started out as.
I agree, my goal was to inspire others and even show them that they can do things they were never capable of before - not annoy them. If running and fitness is annoying, then that's a crowd where I don't belong!
DeleteThis is one of the very reasons why I started blogging in the first place, because so many of my non-running friends didn't care or didn't want to hear what I was all excited about and I needed a place where I could sound off to people that did. It's really helped me find balance with it all. Glad you have your space to geek out too. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I listened to Beth and took the plunge, or I'd be in a dark corner rocking myself to sleep! ;)
DeleteI can relate SO much to your post today. And thanks for your honesty. I was talking to one of my family members on Monday about this very thing ... about how people I used to consider closest to don't really have all that much in common with me anymore, and how so many of my running friends (both real and virtual) are the people I'm now the closest with. It isn't that I don't adore those old friends more than life itself, it's just that we don't have the same interests. We've evolved. Many of them don't even exercise or put fitness as a priority, and I spend all day thinking about it, writing about it and doing it. I spend hours at a time with others who are doing the same thing on Saturday morning long runs or Sunday bike rides. I guess maybe it is true that people change. I don't really feel like I've changed as a person, but I have evolved. I have sharpened my interests and have focused on my dreams. And those are the same interests or dreams of others I have held so dear for so long. I don't think it has resulted in losing friends, but rather gaining other friendships that may be even stronger. Thanks for the real and raw post, Kat. Happy running! So proud of you. xo
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments too Jes! I tell my husband that all of the time when we talk about this very topic: It's ok to evolve and for relationships to evolve. I can't believe the vast amount of awesome friends, IRL and not IRL yet ;), who I've met and talk to and who cheer me on and congratulate me. They support me when I need it most! You included ;) I wouldn't change it for the world!
DeleteHello my name is Elle and I am a control freak! Haha sounds like a 12 step meeting... but I know where you are coming from with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think that people come and go from our lives all the time. We enjoy them while they are there and let them go when it's time. I think that is just natural.
I agree with you and glad you're on the control freak train! ;)
DeleteI could've written this post. I, too, am a control freak and my husband is the free spirit. We balance out.
ReplyDeleteI also annoy people with my constant running/working out talk. None of my friends in real life are into running. It stinks.
Aw see that's why we have our little virtual world lol
DeleteAh yes, friends do come and go at pivotal points in your life. It happens again during various stages of your life after you have kids (baby "mommy" friends don't necessarily turn into preschool friends who don't necessary turn into school age friends). It is sad to "lose" friends because I definitely think you can never have too many. But when you "lose" them because they aren't on board with your new interests or with positive changes you have made in your life you just have to wonder how good of friends they were in the first place. My "real" friends have stuck with me through thick (very thick) and thin. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm learning and I know who will stick around for the messes and the celebrations! ;)
DeleteFriends are always going to come and go. The key to find those who support your interests, dreams and all facets of you, even the ones that aren't the life of the party. I've dabbled in many activities and had friends all along the way. Then when I shift gears or move, they tend to fall back. It's sad, but it's part of the natural progression. Some people are only meant to be your friend for a season, while some are there for a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great way of putting it!
DeleteI love posts like these. The scary ones to write. Thanks for sharing! Sometimes I wish I cared more about being in control, most of the time I just go with the flow. Finding balance is important!
ReplyDeleteThanks Courtney! It felt good to get out and get great responses too!
DeleteI can definitely relate to the control part of this post too!! Bossy is a nice way to putting it :-) It's funny because I've noticed that I don't really talk about my workouts anymore or I just mention it in passing. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because they are sick of hearing about it? haha. But if it's something that we love and are passionate about, shouldn't we want to share it with friends and family?
ReplyDeleteWe should! But it's true that some friendships aren't meant to last forever - new ones found are always great too!
DeleteThanks for the honest post, Kat! I have a lot of friends who do not get the running thing at all, which is largely why I started a running blog. :) And I think running really attracts those of us who like control! Works well with that kind of personality. So yes, definitely experienced some of these. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, thank goodness for this outlet! ;)
DeleteI love what you have to say about the 'ick'. I feel that running gets me through that too. Thanks for being so honest.
ReplyDeleteSo true!
DeleteI love your "I'm Afraid" post - thanks for participating and being so honest! One of the reasons I started my own blog is BECAUSE I felt I was boring my friends with all my running talk. I started a blog and a FB page and made new friends with similar interests! Great post!! (p.s. I added you to my round-up post)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I dd it! :)
DeleteI started a blog to talk about running. Why? Real-life friends aren't interested, don't understand or don't want to hear about it. It's sad that an online group of mostly strangers are more supportive about something that's so important to me, but it's true. I don't know why that is ... But, I can totally relate to your situation! I love your honesty. You rock!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jina! ;)
DeleteI think I am the oposite of you. I don't try to manage anything which is not good either! You are organized and it works! Go girl! As for the friends, my friendships have all drastically changed. I realized that some of my friends really liked me being fat. When I started to feel better about myself and started to get attention, I realized that they didn't like it. It was a real eye opener!
ReplyDeleteYes! Same with me! Soon as you start to be more confident it turns off certain people....not the people you want to be around!
DeleteRunning is my therapy and my stress relief. When I was injured and couldn't run...ahhhhhhh!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks goodness for it
DeleteJust be YOU Kat!! All those things u spoke about make you who u r and i happen to think your awesome sooo you're friends will love u the way you are, control running freak or not!! ;-)xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Kris - amen sister! ;)
DeleteI love this post and I can totally relate. It can be very isolating being the only mommy in your group of friends, and part of my get back in shape plan was to start running, and I love it. However, the few friends that stuck around only 4 of them get the running thing (none are parents and I only see 1 regularly)... I definitely have my breakdown moments because the whole experience mommy & running, while two things that I couldn't imagine being without, have made my life very lonely. Thank goodness for blog friends!
ReplyDeleteI can see that Kelly! I even think how hard it'd be if I were a mom on top of it all - and sometimes how I feel like an outsider with mommies! It's hard to find those of us who can openly relate to our exercise routines and lifestyles that revolve around that - hooray for blogging!
DeleteI love these posts! Makes you realize there is a "real" person behind the blog! I think you have things under control, at least you act like it ;) There are some people that you just read their blogs and want to slap them upside the head for their obsessions.... but you're good in my book!
ReplyDeleteLol thanks Jennifer, that makes me feel golden ;)
DeleteI have felt the same as I get started in my passion with dogs. Thing to remember is you're friends will always read and show support, no matter how tired they truly are of listening to us ramble on about it. Why? Because we support them, whether it's our same passion or not.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your first blog sharing something a little more intimate! It is really scary and you did an awesome job! :0)
I love how honest you are in this post. {Hugs} I understand about the friends bit. I think it's just hard for people to accept lifestyle changes (this goes for former addicts, too) so a natural rift is created. I love my non-running friends and make a conscious effort to keep my relationship with them in tact but my running girls are really the ones that know everything about me. I'm so happy that you're embracing spontaneity more, it really is the spice of life (says the former control freak).
ReplyDelete