We all know that I definitely like to keep it real on this here blog.
You guys never have to worry about any smidgen of untruth from me or for me to not speak as I would if I saw you in the flesh.
Alas, I've decided to hop on the gravy train of 'more truth' and write a different type of post:
Afraid. Very Afraid.
Another blend, Lea over at Running for Dummies, has challenged us to write a blog post like non-other - For us to be honest and truthful to get things off of our chests - to be transparent with our readers on something we've not talked about. Ok, I can handle that!
My topic of choice is two-fold:
1) I know you're sick of hearing me talk about running
2) Running helps me to stay in control
Last year, when I started running again to train for the Gasparilla 15k, it was sort of a rebirth. I'd been a runner back in 2007 but felt uncomfortable. Years later, I'd finally reached a point where I was ready to get back into it and get back into it I did. Along the way, I've met the most awesome people who not only encourage me with my own goals but push me and support me all the way. With that being said, I started to notice myself talk about running. A lot. All of the time. It was stuck on my brain. I learned to curb what I posted online (to a point) and with the addition of my blog, I began to have another outlet to use where I could talk and talk about running and fitness without scrutiny.
Just as I gained tons of support and friendships, I felt like I lost many or that many relationships shifted. People say you learn who your real friends are at peak moments in your life and mine were during wedding planning...financial tough times...and also during half marathon training. I understand it, I do. Yet, it tends to bother me sometimes. Sometimes I want to be excited and talk about the great 12 miler I'd just hit for the first time and geek out over it, but knowing I'd be around others who could care less about miles and Garmins, I'd stay tight-lipped. I've seen a lot of friendships go to the wayside because we've just ended up at two different places in life, and I've learned to be okay with that. Sometimes I wish it didn't have to be that way. I hoped that I'd motivate others to do what they never thought imaginable, kind of how I felt about running, instead of it being a bother. Should we all have the same things in common to talk about? Should we open up our minds and our hearts to learn from others? Or should we just stay to what's comfortable and familiar to us?
Another reason why I even run in the first place is that it helps me to stay in control. Real-life peeps know me as the girl who likes to be in control - suffice it to say that I've been noted as "bossy" by family and friends who know me and have known me a long time. I like to have control. I've learned over time that it's rooted from not having a ton of control in my past, so now I sometimes feel that if I am in control then I can avoid negative outcomes or foresee things in a light that I can expect to see them in rather than be caught off guard. I am working on this... and running has helped me...
Running has turned into something that has not only helped my outward appearance and overall health, but it creates an opportunity for me to stay in control. I control when I wake up to run, I control my pace, I control how far I go... And then I race & get that sense of accomplishment that all of my hard work has earned me that shiny [probably cost $1 to make] medal that I cherish to much. It also gets out all of the ick. By ick I mean that negative energy you accumulate from work, life, stress....nothing takes care of that for me quite like a good run - or a kick butt WOD!
I'm working on it. I know that being a control freak isn't the best thing ever. Not only for others who get to take part in my company, but also for me. There's no need for me to organize my clothes according to color or to fold my workout undies a certain way. I shouldn't worry about the bed being made every day or that all of the icons on my phone are attended to. I am trying to take a page from my husband's book and be more spontaneous - hence our plethora of trips planned this year. Life's too short to be a robot, I know.
So, there you have it. My admissions, or at least some of them. I'm sure I have plenty more but feel this is a good start?
Have these sorts of things happened to you?